Thanks to Sickipedia, I c …
Thanks to Sickipedia, I can no longer enjoy watching the mongoloids slump off the special bus without thinking of punchlines.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I was talking to a bloke …
I was talking to a bloke in the pub tonight. I said, “I got a parking ticket today.” He said, “Really? Where did you get it?” I said, “Under my windscreen wiper.”
Continue ReadingThis morning I walked pas …
This morning I walked past an eight foot tall Eastern European lifting a heavy load onto a first floor balcony so I went,”Ukraine?”
Continue ReadingI was going to make a jok …
I was going to make a joke and jump on the whole Raoul bandwagon, but I wasn’t moativated
Continue ReadingSo Libyan authorities hav …
So Libyan authorities have announced an investigation into Gaddafi’s death. Results have returned to show that Gaddafi is, indeed, dead.
Continue ReadingI asked my boss in DFS wh …
I asked my boss in DFS what he wanted me to do today. “I want you to rearrange the furniture,” He said. “Furniture the,” I replied.
Continue ReadingMy mums sister is very kn …
My mums sister is very knowledgeable when it comes to time pieces, good old Aunty Clockwise..
Continue ReadingI hate to say it but my w …
I hate to say it but my wife was right. I was the death of her.
Continue Reading‘Ke Tweets picture of her …
‘Ke Tweets picture of herself peeing in road’. Fans say it’s the best thing she’s ever released.
Continue ReadingI made Windows 7. I rang …
I made Windows 7. I rang them up and told them OSX Leopard was better, so they copied it.
Continue ReadingI have all the money I’ll …
I have all the money I’ll ever need – if I die by 4:00 p.m. today.
Continue ReadingI picked up a free-range …
I picked up a free-range chicken from the supermarket yesterday. I managed to stun it with a tin of beans in the pet food aisle.
Continue ReadingArchaeologists working on …
Archaeologists working on a ancient Saxon dig, have been excited to unearth the body of a man believed to have have murdered in a dispute over the ownership of dye. It’s thought to be the earliest case of Woad Rage on record.
Continue ReadingA man goes into a library …
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says, “Okay.” “Really?” asks the man. “Usually you’re much m…” “APRIL FOOLS!”
Continue ReadingWent to Tenerife two year …
Went to Tenerife two years ago, didn’t get laid. Went to Majorca last year, didn’t get laid there either. I’m going to Ibiza this year; it’s my last resort.
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