Are homeless people allow …
Are homeless people allowed to listen to house music?
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Doctors have just told th …
Doctors have just told they need to amputate boths my hands. I’m not sure how i’ll feel
Continue ReadingI bought a cheap Jack-in- …
I bought a cheap Jack-in-a-box and it failed miserably. It doesn’t surprise me.
Continue ReadingMy mate is punching well …
My mate is punching well above his weight with his latest girlfriend. Her obesity being the main reason he beats her.
Continue ReadingThe girl next door has be …
The girl next door has beautiful soft skin. I’m wearing it right now.
Continue ReadingPeople who confuse the me …
People who confuse the metaphorical and the factual make my head literally explode.
Continue Reading“The death of a 10-year-o …
“The death of a 10-year-old boy who was found hanging in woods appeared to be a ‘tragic accident’,” police have said. Yes, I can empathise with that, I remember walking home at night once and almost stumbling into a field of noose trees, nearly went headfirst into one, at least they could put up warning […]
Continue ReadingI stood up in the pub and …
I stood up in the pub and drunkenly shouted out, ” I’m off home to try some auto erotic asphyxiation.” My wife said,” Belt up will ya!” Silly cow, that’s not how you do it.
Continue ReadingAs a shepherd, I hear lot …
As a shepherd, I hear lots of jokes about sheep. I used to tell them to my dog but he’d always herd them.
Continue ReadingLeonard Nimoy is gravely …
Leonard Nimoy is gravely ill & despite being a firm believer in alternative medicines, he is not responding to any treatment. The doctors have given him just a few days to live. Should have gone to Spocksavers.
Continue ReadingSince we got married, my …
Since we got married, my wife’s been having the time of her life. It’s like her time of the month, but it never ends.
Continue ReadingI just had a Bulmers No. …
I just had a Bulmers No. 37…. I really should have stopped after no. 36 because I can’t remember where I live.
Continue ReadingForgot about 10/10/10 10: …
Forgot about 10/10/10 10:10:10.. Well there’s always next time.
Continue ReadingMr facebook Mark Zuckerbe …
Mr facebook Mark Zuckerberg wants us to live in a more connected world…. But to do this he wants us to sit on our own in front of the computer
Continue ReadingThere was over two grand …
There was over two grand in my bank this morning and I’m not due to get paid for another week. I think my boss has been making advances at me.
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