BBC: 7 year olds can’t re …
BBC: 7 year olds can’t read well. I’m stopping my 3 quid a month. Only wanted them to drink from it.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
For some reason when I wa …
For some reason when I was a child, I wanted to be a philosopher. I always wonder why
Continue ReadingMy party trick is to fill …
My party trick is to fill my foreskin with over forty 10p pieces. And that’s why I’m not a Children’s Entertainer anymore.
Continue ReadingI went out to a bar last …
I went out to a bar last night to try and pull women. I was unsuccessful (as usual) but one woman made a remark which I found particularly hurtful. Tossing and turning in bed later that night I replayed the event over and over again in my mind. Five hours later I had come up […]
Continue ReadingI’ve just flown back from …
I’ve just flown back from a 2 week all-inclusive holiday in Tunisia. I had a riotous time.
Continue ReadingPresident Obama says it i …
President Obama says it is evil to deny the Holocaust. I don’t want to be evil so go ahead Holocaust. Do your thing.
Continue ReadingI made my girlfriend my w …
I made my girlfriend my wallpaper but she didn’t have enough skin for me to finish.
Continue ReadingI like getting hammered o …
I like getting hammered on Screwdrivers, just for the irony of it.
Continue ReadingIt makes sense that non-a …
It makes sense that non-alcoholic drinks are called virgins, because I stopped being one as soon as I started getting alcohol in me too.
Continue ReadingBreaking news from the BB …
Breaking news from the BBC website: ‘Lightning ‘may have hit balloon”. What shocking news.
Continue ReadingThe in my keyboard doesn …
The in my keyboard doesn’t work that well
Continue ReadingI’ve just heard on the ra …
I’ve just heard on the radio a story in Scotland where a family have had their children taken into care because the parents are over weight and social services fear for the childrens safety. What are they going to do? Eat them?
Continue ReadingA talent for anagrams is …
A talent for anagrams is often latent.
Continue ReadingWhat do you call an orpha …
What do you call an orphan’s family tree? A stump.
Continue ReadingIs cease fire just the Am …
Is cease fire just the American word for reloading?
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