How many PETA members doe …
How many PETA members does it take to change a lightbulb? None, PETA will never change anything.
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I won a prize draw for a …
I won a prize draw for a free tank of petrol. I told them I’d prefer 1,000 cash.
Continue ReadingThere’s a special way to …
There’s a special way to handle soap in prison. I soon picked it up.
Continue ReadingI finally quit my job as …
I finally quit my job as a waiter. Standing around all day bored me.
Continue Reading9% of people say darkness …
9% of people say darkness is their greatest fear. For the BNP, that figure rises to 100%
Continue ReadingThe irony of having a rol …
The irony of having a roller coaster fetish is you never want to get off.
Continue ReadingDimmer switches are delig …
Dimmer switches are delighting.
Continue ReadingThe problem with drinking …
The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well.
Continue ReadingA boy is walking home to …
A boy is walking home to his dad when he finds a used condom on the street so he brings it home with him and asks his dad what it is. his dad not wanting to tell him what it realy is he says. “thats a twinkie and if you can find anymore fore me […]
Continue ReadingI’m also a doctor, and – …
I’m also a doctor, and – coincidentally – one of my patients also called me up to tell me her eyes had gone black. “Well, they’ll never go back”, I told her.
Continue ReadingI bought an Apple Mac tod …
I bought an Apple Mac today for just over a grand. A bit over priced really, for what is essentially, a fruit shaped piece of clingfilm…
Continue ReadingI asked my wife to grab m …
I asked my wife to grab me a beer from the fridge earlier. She said, “What did your last slave die of?” She got stabbed actually. After answering me back and making me wait for my beer.
Continue ReadingA bloke walks into a bar …
A bloke walks into a bar looking glum. The barman asks; ‘Whats up fella?’ ‘All my mates are off bobsleighing.’ Replies the man. ‘You upset they did’nt ask you?’ enquires the barman. ‘No,’ says the man sadly. ‘I’m Bob.’
Continue ReadingI recently got sacked fro …
I recently got sacked from my cleaners job at the care home, I dont understand why the manager acted so badly, He was the one that told me to get into every nuck and granny
Continue ReadingPaedophiles: Make your na …
Paedophiles: Make your naughty activities less obvious to vigilant mothers by not dressing up as a train spotter.
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