Author: qjoq.com

My housemates always complain about the amount of washing up there is to do. I don’t know what they’re on about. I just leave mine in the sink, and when I come down in the morning it’s done

I was interviewed for a job today in front of 5 directors. “Why should we take you on and not somebody else?” they asked. I said, “Well first of all, I’ll punch you all…..” “Stop” one of them shouted. “I think you was meant to say ‘I’m punctual’” “Nope” I said. “Can I finish please?”

What do you call a blind man? Anything you want, he can’t se- oh wait.

A mate just asked me to give him a lift. So I told him he was very attractive.