This hot weather we’re ha …
This hot weather we’re having at the moment has started to make my eyes go puffy. I can’t stop looking up mens shorts.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I was asked the question, …
I was asked the question, “What would you rather be, blind or deaf?” I answered deaf, my wife is pretty hot but her voice does my head in.
Continue ReadingOn preparing to return ho …
On preparing to return home from an out of town trip, this man got a small puppy as a present for his son. Not having time to get the paper work to take the puppy on board, the man just hid the pup down the front of his pants and snuck him on board the […]
Continue ReadingApparently a lot of sniff …
Apparently a lot of sniffer dogs are vanishing into thin air. Police say they have several leads…
Continue ReadingI’m hoping for a North v …
I’m hoping for a North v South Korea World Cup Final. Though whoever loses will be as sick as a halftime snack.
Continue ReadingManaged to get rid of my …
Managed to get rid of my mean boss yesterday after he had a heart attack in the office. If only he’d allowed personal calls on company time, I’d have phoned him an ambulance.
Continue ReadingI met this really cute gi …
I met this really cute girl I thought was way out my league last week in a club. I thinks she was a bit drunk but it seemed to help and I got her phone number! Now she texts me all the time: ‘pls stop texting me’ ‘i dnt want u fllwing me agen’ ‘wht […]
Continue ReadingMy wife was trying on new …
My wife was trying on new clothes and asked me “How do I look?”. I told her “You use your eyes like everyone else, you stupid cow!”
Continue ReadingMy granddad downed a Germ …
My granddad downed a German bomber in WW2. They had some crazy names for drinks in those days.
Continue ReadingEver since my house was p …
Ever since my house was possessed by ghosts, I haven’t had the energy to do anything, and it’s starting to affect my health. I really need to exorcise.
Continue ReadingFrankie has been booted o …
Frankie has been booted off the X-Factor for breaking a ‘Golden Rule’. He couldn’t sing
Continue ReadingThey say absence makes th …
They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. I’m still not tempted to dig the wife up and it’s been 8 months.
Continue ReadingNow, I’m sure he’s got to …
Now, I’m sure he’s got too much water for his tea… Thought the Lobster
Continue ReadingMy dog recently swallowed …
My dog recently swallowed a whole set of alphabet fridge magnets. He’s been leaving little messages around the house.
Continue ReadingMan: Doctor DOCTOR! my kn …
Man: Doctor DOCTOR! my knee hurts! Doctor: Can you bend it for me? Man: I’ll try… *snap* Doctor: I ment the other way!
Continue Reading