My mate asked me if I wou …
My mate asked me if I would ever consider kissing a mirror. To be honest, it’s not really something I can see myself doing.
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I used to suffer from ter …
I used to suffer from terrible acid indigestion. Man I loved tripping.
Continue ReadingThere’s a new iPhone Kara …
There’s a new iPhone Karaoke app. Apple have finally created the most annoying person to ever sit next to you on a train.
Continue ReadingI was turned down flat to …
I was turned down flat today , when trying to get my book published. I’ll bet if was a famous author, it would have been a different story.
Continue ReadingWhen i get a dog, i’m goi …
When i get a dog, i’m going to call him STAY, just to confuse him ‘COME HERE, STAY, COME HERE, STAY’
Continue ReadingI’ve got 10 lines for ton …
I’ve got 10 lines for tonights euro lottery!! if i win I’m gonna snort the lot!!
Continue ReadingTerry, I watched those sp …
Terry, I watched those spastic girls drooling on Children In Need earlier and I raised 6 inches.
Continue ReadingSo… My two year old dau …
So… My two year old daughter takes my nose and it’s all fun and stuff. But I take her virginity and I get a prison sentence?
Continue ReadingI’m writing a modern day …
I’m writing a modern day Jane Austen period drama starring Harvey Price. It’s called Dense and Disability.
Continue ReadingJust seen the 161 million …
Just seen the 161 million pound couple. Would have been kinder to put it in Kilos.
Continue ReadingI had a job interview yes …
I had a job interview yesterday and went out wearing my favourite three-piece suit. It was all going well until I couldn’t fit the armchair through the doors.
Continue ReadingIncest. Putting the relat …
Incest. Putting the relation into relationship.
Continue ReadingWhile the optimist’s gas …
While the optimist’s gas tank is half full, and the pessimist’s half empty,… they’ll both run out of gas at the exact same spot.
Continue ReadingTagged Photos: The more y …
Tagged Photos: The more you click, the younger they get.
Continue ReadingI saw the most attractive …
I saw the most attractive audio technician the other day.. He was a pretty sound guy.
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