I went in to a Korean res …
I went in to a Korean restaurant the other day that had a sign saying “No Dogs” As the kitchen’s health & safety inspector, I later found this out to be a false statement.
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I put my chips on the tab …
I put my chips on the table knowing that she was about to fold. She said, “Move your dinner whilst I sort these clothes out.”
Continue ReadingAfter watching how to cat …
After watching how to catch a paedophile on TV last night! I understand why admin are so hard to get hold of.
Continue ReadingA friend of mine is known …
A friend of mine is known for going round to peoples houses and stealing pictures of them, It’s a poor trait.
Continue ReadingIf a Geordie man goes wal …
If a Geordie man goes walking in Walker and biking in Byker, what does he do at Wallsend? Fall off
Continue ReadingI asked the librarian to …
I asked the librarian to direct me to the spy thriller section. It was all very hush-hush.
Continue ReadingA man walks into a librar …
A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suffocation. The librarian says, “Would you like a bag with that?”
Continue ReadingMy wife disappeared in th …
My wife disappeared in the Borough of Ealing. I’ve reported her as Missing in Acton.
Continue ReadingThese last few weeks, I’v …
These last few weeks, I’ve been eating healthily and getting a lot of exercise, so I’m going to need some serious retoxing.
Continue ReadingAmman in Jordan. Hardly s …
Amman in Jordan. Hardly surprising is it?
Continue ReadingDon’t knock the weather. …
Don’t knock the weather. If it didn’t change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn’t start a conversation
Continue Reading“You’ve only half finishe …
“You’ve only half finished the bathroom!” said the wife. It was a few tile effort.
Continue ReadingWhat do you call a pig th …
What do you call a pig that does karate? Pork Chop
Continue ReadingThe unimaginable: you cou …
The unimaginable: you couldn’t make it up.
Continue ReadingMy friend asked me to get …
My friend asked me to get him a job at the opticians. He knew I had the contacts.
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