Rowan Atkinson. What a ha …
Rowan Atkinson. What a has-bean.
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My mates and I got our re …
My mates and I got our results back today, none of us failed! We all have aids.
Continue ReadingI got four cracked ribs l …
I got four cracked ribs last night. I don’t care if I got free prawn crackers, I want my money back.
Continue ReadingBlack men, without an add …
Black men, without an additional 4 inches, you won’t impress anybody. Kids have been seen holding a 32 inch.
Continue ReadingMy pompous neighbour once …
My pompous neighbour once said “War is never the answer” So I asked him “What is a state of armed conflict between different nations or states or different groups within a nation or state?”
Continue ReadingOne of the neighbours fou …
One of the neighbours found my cat’s tag the other night. I didn’t even realise he’d been doing graffiti.
Continue ReadingFox mauls twins in bed. W …
Fox mauls twins in bed. Wheres Derrick Bird with his gun when you need him……..Boom Boom.
Continue ReadingThe Spitfire, it maybe ol …
The Spitfire, it maybe old but no Fokker can touch it.
Continue ReadingMy wife keeps trying to g …
My wife keeps trying to get me fit so I tried to think of a way to get rid of her. It was as easy as pie.
Continue ReadingWhen gingers go on holida …
When gingers go on holiday . . Do they fly with Virgin ?
Continue ReadingSo i hear Jessie J will b …
So i hear Jessie J will be performing for Children In Need this year with her hit Pricetag. Well if its not about the money they wont mind me not donating this year then.
Continue ReadingI accidentally locked my …
I accidentally locked my coat hanger in my car today. Luckily for me, I had my keys.
Continue ReadingMy dad used to beat me un …
My dad used to beat me until I was black and blue. I wanted to be a Man Utd fan, but he said it was Inter Milan or nothing.
Continue ReadingMy jet pack and I are hav …
My jet pack and I are having a minor disagreement, but I’m just going to put it behind me and move on.
Continue ReadingI dedicate my life to fig …
I dedicate my life to fighting poverty. It was only this morning I punched a tramp in the face.
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