FOX NEWS: A Missouri man …
FOX NEWS: A Missouri man reportedly shot himself in the head accidentally while teaching his girlfriend about gun safety… Whoever said the americans didn’t do irony!?
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
At my daughter’s fifth bi …
At my daughter’s fifth birthday party, she really wanted to play Pin The Tail On The Donkey. It took a lot of negotiating to get Emile Heskey for the day, so I hope she appreciated it.
Continue ReadingI couldn’t afford to buy …
I couldn’t afford to buy cotton so I decided to be abrasive, and steel wool…
Continue ReadingMy wife was saying ‘I don …
My wife was saying ‘I don’t care what you say. There’s no pain in the world as bad as childbirth’ Anyway you will be glad to know she now knows better. Sorry make that knew better.
Continue ReadingMy wife has told me that …
My wife has told me that she is going to hire a lawyer to try and get everything I own because of my obsession with the singer Bobby Brown. Well, two can play at that game.
Continue ReadingI’ve just bought my wife …
I’ve just bought my wife a window for her birthday. It’s just like the one that she pointed to in the high street last week.
Continue ReadingI once knew a guy that co …
I once knew a guy that couldn’t stand up. We called him Neil.
Continue ReadingI gave my pet bird a hair …
I gave my pet bird a haircut, now he thinks he’s James Bond He’s certainly a shorn canary
Continue ReadingWent to see Les Miserable …
Went to see Les Miserables last night..It’s about a group of depressed lesbians.
Continue ReadingI recently opened a shop …
I recently opened a shop specialising in Hot Cakes and my friend came in today and said, “It’s quiet in here, how’s business?” I replied, “I can’t understand it, they’re simply not selling.”
Continue ReadingOn my box of Lucky Charms …
On my box of Lucky Charms… Servings: Approximately 13
Continue Reading“Your best mate’s mum who …
“Your best mate’s mum who lives across the street has lost a lot of weight” I said to my daughter.. She said “You’ve got your binoculars the wrong way round dad.”
Continue ReadingI noticed four soldiers o …
I noticed four soldiers on Brecon Beacons in the worst rain and wind ever. They must have been Stormtroopers.
Continue ReadingIt has been reported that …
It has been reported that companies will not employ new university graduates unless the achieve a degree of 2:1 or better. This means that all ballerinas have now dropped out of their courses as all they can get is a 2:2.
Continue ReadingI have a claim to Fame. I …
I have a claim to Fame. I wrote the theme tune to the movie.
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