I blame my dyslexic paren …
I blame my dyslexic parents for my transformer related bullying at school. Fancy calling me Robot!
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Consternation in the Germ …
Consternation in the German team at Euro 2012 when Bender met his archenemy Flexo.
Continue ReadingI just gave my computer a …
I just gave my computer a reboot. This time, the monitor smashed.
Continue ReadingIn Paranormal Activity, M …
In Paranormal Activity, Micah is a poor excuse for a ghost-hunter. For all he knows, it could be brown, it could be blue, it could be violet sky, it could be hurtful, it could be purple, it could be anything you like.
Continue ReadingWhat did the slug say to …
What did the slug say to the snail? “Big issue, sir?”
Continue ReadingI went for an audition fo …
I went for an audition for a part in a TV show yesterday. Reading between the lines, probably cost me the role.
Continue ReadingA blonde takes a fancy to …
A blonde takes a fancy to a handsome guy at a party. He introduces himself: “My name is Stephen King. Sometimes I use a pseudonym.” “No need,” says the blonde, winking, “I’m on the pill.”
Continue ReadingThere was a power outage …
There was a power outage at the department store I was in yesterday. I was stuck on a escalator for hours.
Continue ReadingIn order to join Sickiped …
In order to join Sickipedia you have to take a “humanity test” Doesn’t seem to be working
Continue ReadingWhat do my new trainers a …
What do my new trainers and a disabled asylum seeker have in common? They both fell off the back of a lorry.
Continue ReadingMy next door neighbour wa …
My next door neighbour was desperate to go shopping and asked me to watch her kids that evening… …apparently, through their bedroom window, whilst wearing a nappy and nipple clamps wasn’t what she had in mind.
Continue ReadingWent to the doctors the o …
Went to the doctors the other day. I said, “doctor ,you’ve got to help me – I keep having visions of the future.” He replied, “when did these start?” I said, “next Thursday!”
Continue ReadingI tried to look up my psy …
I tried to look up my psychiatrist’s skirt. I would have seen more if it wasn’t for her Freudian slip.
Continue ReadingI remember in primary sch …
I remember in primary school we had a cupboard where we would kiss the girls at break time. A lot has changed since my day. Its an abortion clinic now.
Continue ReadingBusted saw Global Warming …
Busted saw Global Warming coming
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