My Girlfriend left me tod …
My Girlfriend left me today because she said I was too old fashioned, I nearly fell off my penny farthing
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I can’t believe how much …
I can’t believe how much money people spend on buying patterned toilet paper. A felt tip pen and normal toilet paper works out much cheaper.
Continue ReadingIf today’s the longest da …
If today’s the longest day, why’s my watch still going at the same speed?
Continue ReadingIs this la-z-boy arm chai …
Is this la-z-boy arm chair more comfy than a normal one? I have to say I’m inclined to agree.
Continue ReadingLast night I met a variet …
Last night I met a variety of people with magical powers. Witch was nice.
Continue ReadingWhen you catch a fish and …
When you catch a fish and put it back, do you reckon it goes back to its mates and says it was abducted by aliens?
Continue ReadingI found some fish fingers …
I found some fish fingers, today. Oh well… Findus keepers.
Continue ReadingWhen your only child has …
When your only child has Down’s Syndrome, Birthdays can be difficult. Last week our daughter was five and me and the wife just couldn’t decide what to give her. Eventually we settled on ‘away, for adoption.’
Continue ReadingDo you have Osteoporosis? …
Do you have Osteoporosis? Click here.
Continue ReadingThey call me MC Cling Fil …
They call me MC Cling Film, I’ll wrap about anything.
Continue ReadingI hate it when my chewing …
I hate it when my chewing gum goes all tasteless. I spat it out once and it was in the shape of a dead baby.
Continue ReadingNever buy crack-cocaine f …
Never buy crack-cocaine from a shady leprechaun. You get sham rocks.
Continue Reading“A Jew”… Bit of a tight …
“A Jew”… Bit of a tight sneeze.
Continue ReadingI was going to be a horol …
I was going to be a horologist, but then I discovered it isn’t what it sounds like.
Continue ReadingI’ve written a script for …
I’ve written a script for a film about an action hero who works in accounts. The sequel’s going to be set in a different department. This time it’s personnel.
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