Just been for my first bl …
Just been for my first blood test, the nurse was really struggling to find a vein in my elbow, she gave up in the end and got the back of my hand. I’ve been arrested and I never got the blood test.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Anyone else feel like the …
Anyone else feel like they’re cheating on iTunes with Limewire?
Continue ReadingI fell off a 50ft ladder …
I fell off a 50ft ladder yesterday… luckily I was on the bottom step.
Continue ReadingMy neighbour went ballist …
My neighbour went ballistic when she caught me giving her the V’s again. Its safe to say our weekly scrabble games are probably over.
Continue ReadingI was on FaceBook when I …
I was on FaceBook when I seen this comment: Maxi Lopez: The new Halo:Reach is going to be launched at midnight across the UK tonight! and for those people who actually have a life: Babestation is on channel 906 Am I the only one who sees the irony in this?
Continue ReadingI saw a Department of Hea …
I saw a Department of Health poster in the waiting room at the doctor’s today. It showed two sunburnt children on a beach with the caption, “Kids Cook Quick”. Nonsense. In my experience they take about 25 minutes per pound.
Continue ReadingI don’t know what all thi …
I don’t know what all this hype is about Man Utd’s goal against Tottenham yesterday? It was at Old Trafford after all … The unbiased referee clearly let Gomes off a booking for handling the ball in his own area as well.
Continue ReadingI put my clothes on the l …
I put my clothes on the line earlier. I think my gambling addiction has gone too far.
Continue ReadingI’ve just come home after …
I’ve just come home after watching a football match for ballerinas. It finished 2-2.
Continue ReadingI never trust people who …
I never trust people who smoke… I’m worried they’ll lead me ashtray.
Continue ReadingAll these anti-semetic jo …
All these anti-semetic jokes are disgusting. Anne Frank will be spinning in her oven.
Continue ReadingSo Liverpool are at home …
So Liverpool are at home to Blackpool today and like everyone else, I’m praying the underdogs win .. So apologies to the vast number of Blackpool fans out there, for that.
Continue ReadingBBC News: ‘Gaddafi’s forc …
BBC News: ‘Gaddafi’s forces given ultimatum’. What kind of irresponsible nutter would supply that lot with radioactive material?
Continue ReadingI regret joining a local …
I regret joining a local singles club. It was the worst collection of records I’ve ever seen.
Continue ReadingThe good old days. You we …
The good old days. You were told to go and play on your bike and not take another Ritalin. You were told you were thick at school, not dyslexic…. and when you posted a joke on Sickipedia you checked the categories for similar jokes.
Continue Reading