When anyone ask me to wat …
When anyone ask me to watch their children, I ask if their kid is a “mean drunk” or a “happy drunk.” Gets me out of it every time.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I remember when I was you …
I remember when I was younger, I was confused about girls so I approached my dad and I said to him “Dad, how should I treat women?” My dad’s answer has enlightened the rest of my life. “To their face or behind their back?” Thanks, dad.
Continue ReadingA deacon walks into a cro …
A deacon walks into a crowded room and screams ‘fire’. As the people run out he says “I’m kidding. Just wanted to deacon-jest the place”
Continue ReadingI can rob your supermarke …
I can rob your supermarket without you knowing who I am. Or your money back…..
Continue ReadingI couldn’t be happier aft …
I couldn’t be happier after the draw this evening. Got 4 numbers on the thunderball.
Continue ReadingBBC News Headline: Soldie …
BBC News Headline: Soldier’s ashes saved from fire. If you ask me I think you saved him a little too late.
Continue ReadingEmile Heskey’s wife is to …
Emile Heskey’s wife is to divorce him after he didn’t buy her the anniversary present she wanted online. Apparently he couldn’t find the net.
Continue ReadingMy mum and dad were alway …
My mum and dad were always playing practical jokes on me when I was a kid. I can remember coming home from school once and they had moved house.
Continue ReadingStatically 9 out of 10 pe …
Statically 9 out of 10 people enjoy stealing the first part of other peoples jokes.
Continue ReadingI’ve started a hate campa …
I’ve started a hate campaign against people who don’t like other people.
Continue ReadingI hope Gillian Mckeith ge …
I hope Gillian Mckeith gets eaten by a snake tonight.. And the snake takes its time to experience the texture and nutriants within.
Continue Reading“I’m going to Southwester …
“I’m going to Southwestern China with my wife for that gambling tournament.” “Tibet?” “No, just to watch.”
Continue ReadingFeather jokes tickle me. …
Feather jokes tickle me.
Continue ReadingPropaganda…is that when …
Propaganda…is that when you have a good look at something ??
Continue Readingwhat happened to the spli …
what happened to the split condom? Look in the mirror.
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