I came second in the Worl …
I came second in the World Cat Shaving Championship. I lost by a whisker.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I went to a fast food sus …
I went to a fast food sushi restaurant. They gave me some chopsticks and a goldfish in a bowl.
Continue ReadingIsn’t it amazing how in Y …
Isn’t it amazing how in Yorkshire, if you have a ‘thigh injury’ then you are most probably suffering some kind of visual impairment.
Continue ReadingI was in the pub and aske …
I was in the pub and asked my mate if he remembered the theme to ‘Jaws’. “Yeah.” He said, “It’s mostly about a big shark that eats people.”
Continue ReadingHerald Sun: Police search …
Herald Sun: Police searching for guitar possibly used as the weapon that bludgeoned a woman. I guess it’s instrumental in her death
Continue Reading3 Blind Mice go into a pu …
3 Blind Mice go into a pub, they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.
Continue ReadingI’ve decided to make my h …
I’ve decided to make my house more sellable by putting a Waitrose supermarket trolley in my front garden.
Continue ReadingI was just playing Call O …
I was just playing Call Of Duty with my black friend, he killed me and said “You got owned”. Oh the irony.
Continue ReadingI was at the office Chris …
I was at the office Christmas party last night and popped out of the hotel to get some money out the cash machine. This woman approached me and said Give me 40 and Ill do anything you want so I gave her the 40 and told her to double glaze my house.
Continue ReadingI was just about to buy a …
I was just about to buy a dvd of James Nesbitt’s Murphy’s Law. But at the last minute, I got cold feet.
Continue ReadingDespite doing ten to the …
Despite doing ten to the dozen every day at work,I still ended up losing my job. Quite a few of the bakerys we supply too had been complaining about being short changed.
Continue ReadingI can only get a hard-on …
I can only get a hard-on when a girl dresses up in my favourite Star Wars costume. I’ve got a Boba Fettish.
Continue ReadingDid you know two months a …
Did you know two months ago I couldn’t even spell latency.
Continue ReadingMicrosoft buy Skype from …
Microsoft buy Skype from Ebay. Top-rated seller.
Continue ReadingGrowing up, I heard a sto …
Growing up, I heard a story about a bloke with ‘bear hands’ living nearby. I think it was faux claw.
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