Author: qjoq.com

Bond looked into the Austrian’s eyes. ‘Your go,’ Stumpf said coldly, confident he had won games like this, in casinos like this, against men like Bond a million times before. A bead of sweat formed on Bond’s lip as he made his move with an affected nonchalance. ‘Snap,’ he said, and lit a cigarette.

What do businessmen have for desert? Profiteroles.

Last week, I stole a probiotic yoghurt from my roommate’s supply. Ever since, I’ve had yoghurt pots tapping at my window in the dead of night. Last time I mess with the Yakult!

Suggs revealed that he took “a lot of amphetamines” when he was younger. There’s a meth-head in the Madness

My colleague said that everyone’s dressing up in black and red striped tops for work tomorrow. It best Beano joke.

I recently starred in a theatre production about puns in the English Language. It was a Play on Words…

I was playing Sporting Top Trumps with my friend Leroy today, I had Tim Henman and he won with usain bolt. I thought it was a bit unfair him playing the race card like that..

I was telling my mate about how my wife backed the car into the garden gate and the insurance wouldn’t pay out. “I had to cough up 300 quid!” I said. “Bad habit, that,” said my mate. “What?” “Eating your money.”