I was in Sainsburys when …
I was in Sainsburys when I saw the sign saying “try something new today”. So I did and went to Asda.
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Why did the boy drop his …
Why did the boy drop his lolly pop? Because he got hit by a car.
Continue ReadingWhenever I start a game o …
Whenever I start a game of pool, I put on a Morris dancer costume, eat a Sunday roast, and belt out God Save The Queen. I like to break with tradition.
Continue ReadingWhats the difference betw …
Whats the difference between Terminal 5 and Kate & Gerry McCann ? Terminal 5 loses things we care about.
Continue ReadingMy friend makes pound coi …
My friend makes pound coins. He does some sterling work.
Continue ReadingI keep asking Princess Le …
I keep asking Princess Leia out on a date and she keeps saying ‘No’. I seem to be looking for love in Alderaan places.
Continue ReadingGordon Brown’s resignatio …
Gordon Brown’s resignation has made a significant impact on the British public and beyond. Eastenders was cancelled.
Continue ReadingI’ve been topping up my t …
I’ve been topping up my tan today. Its amazing what you can bottle these days.
Continue ReadingJust seen on the moneysav …
Just seen on the moneysavingexpert.com a link for a free epilepsy ID card and decided to order one. I have no idea what I’m gonna use it for but I’m sure that it will fit in my wallet.
Continue ReadingAt the moment, I’m workin …
At the moment, I’m working at the clock disposal… But to be honest, it’s a waste of time.
Continue ReadingCheryl Cole has been axed …
Cheryl Cole has been axed from The X Factor by Simon Cowel, because people couldn’t understand her accent. Shame we can’t have Simon in charge of telephone banking in the UK?
Continue ReadingFIFA are to use video goa …
FIFA are to use video goal-line technology in Englands friendly. A camera will be mounted in the goals and the pictures will be broadcast. I wonder if it will be on the net.
Continue ReadingI’ve found out my Dad wan …
I’ve found out my Dad wanted me aborted, my Mum thought it was a bad idea as I was just about to start secondary School.
Continue ReadingThe WWF advert asks, “Whe …
The WWF advert asks, “When the ice goes, where do the polar bears go?” Well, swimming, I suppose.
Continue ReadingThey say money is the roo …
They say money is the root of all evil. Well that’s not true. Because if I was a millionaire I wouldn’t need to rob a bank.
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