What’s red and and sits o …
What’s red and and sits on a wall at the butchers? . . . Humpty the Mince!
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
The local chinese has clo …
The local chinese has closed down in my area. They have no wok.
Continue ReadingBBC News: ‘Walker dies fo …
BBC News: ‘Walker dies following fell fall’. Terrible grammar for a journalist.
Continue ReadingHow do you make a goldfis …
How do you make a goldfish age? Take away the G.
Continue ReadingShopping. That’s why dads …
Shopping. That’s why dads don’t go to Iceland
Continue ReadingI met my girlfriend on Ru …
I met my girlfriend on Runescape. She was very into role play.
Continue Reading1234: The year the Thumb …
1234: The year the Thumb War started.
Continue ReadingAgainst my advice, my dau …
Against my advice, my daughter has just gone to a bukkake party. Oh well, on her own head be it.
Continue ReadingHolding the 2011 census f …
Holding the 2011 census form in my hands, i was considering throwing it in the bin. But then i changed my mind, and decided to be a better person, and a responsible member of society. I put it in the recycling instead.
Continue ReadingHow many blokes does it t …
How many blokes does it take to change a light bulb? Three; one to change it, and two to listen while he brags about how he screwed it.
Continue ReadingSuperlatives are the best …
Superlatives are the best thing in the world.
Continue ReadingI am a pessimistic man mu …
I am a pessimistic man much like a german vegetarian… I fear the Wurst.
Continue Readinggoturkey.com A great webs …
goturkey.com A great website if you get locked outside your home.
Continue ReadingI was watching this Horri …
I was watching this Horrific program about Murders, Drugs, Ruined Weddings and Suicide the other day. I believe it was called Eastenders
Continue ReadingGreat. The wife’s just to …
Great. The wife’s just told me she’s invited her mother round this weekend. I know what that means, no footy or beers then. I’ll just have to go to the pub and kill 2 birds with one stone. But that can wait till I get back from the pub.
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