Author: qjoq.com

I was racking my brain, trying to think of a well known phrase, but I kept falling short of a successful outcome. Close but no cigarette.

Luke Skywalker and his family came into the restaurant that I work in tonight. They ordered spaghetti, then complained that they found it difficult lifting it to their mouths. I said, “Use the forks!”

Archaeologists find dozens of wooden animals buried at the foot of Mount Ararat. They must have been Noah’s, after all, they did come in 2 x 2.

My smelly,Scottish wife of 15yrs called Pamela walked out on me recently and i must say i love the smell of nay pam in the morning

My favourite pick up line… ‘Pick that up’

Today my granddad started pelting me with Werthers. I wasn’t mad though, I thought it was quite original.

The first time I saw a dry-erase board I said, “wow, that is remarkable”

Had my lunch today outside a supermarket, or as the Italians call it “Al Tesco”.

I think my wife is having an affair with a guy called Darren. I overheard her telling a friend she loves the smell of Daz in her knickers.