I have created a Twitter …
I have created a Twitter account called “The Yellow Brick Road” and I am going to follow it
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I really need to do somet …
I really need to do something about my pimple problems. I fell asleep at the library the other day and woke up only to find a blind guy reading my face.
Continue ReadingThe director took no time …
The director took no time in rejecting my audition to play an epileptic in his play. Guess my face didn’t fit.
Continue ReadingI went to school in the d …
I went to school in the days when you could still get caned. I used to have six cans of cider and a bottle of vodka on the bus.
Continue ReadingWhen I was younger the r …
When I was younger the radio always had the strange ability to take me places. Mainly as we only had a radio in the car.
Continue ReadingI read in the news “Benoi …
I read in the news “Benoit Mandelbrot, father of fractals, dies at 85” but when I looked closer it read… “Benoit Mandelbrot, father of fractals, dies at 85”
Continue ReadingI invited a partridge, a …
I invited a partridge, a grouse and a woodpigeon back to my place after the pub. Game on.
Continue ReadingWent to the Ice Cream Van …
Went to the Ice Cream Van and asked for a 99, the Ice Cream Man asked if I wanted hundreds and thousands. I said no thanks mate, just the one.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend complained …
My girlfriend complained today that I had a one-track mind. She interrupted my train of thought.
Continue ReadingI posed naked for a magaz …
I posed naked for a magazine yesterday. It was very demeaning and I’ve been banned from going near that newsagency again.
Continue ReadingIf the energizer bunny at …
If the energizer bunny attacks someone, is he charged with battery?
Continue ReadingI beat my wife with a ten …
I beat my wife with a tennis racket. Served her right.
Continue ReadingI thought my bouncy castl …
I thought my bouncy castle was giving birth earlier, then I realised it was the wife coming down the slide.
Continue ReadingI just saw on BBC News th …
I just saw on BBC News that a Woman’s house set on fire after she left her crystal ball in the window. Pitty she didn’t see that one coming!
Continue ReadingAfter hearing my son sayi …
After hearing my son saying, “I want to be good with acoustic,” I decided to buy him a guitar. Turns out he wanted a snooker cue.
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