To say the least, . …
To say the least, .
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
When I was a kid we were …
When I was a kid we were so poor, we would go to KFC and lick other peoples fingers.
Continue Reading‘Nikon watches are truly …
‘Nikon watches are truly timeless’ Doesn’t that defeat the object of a watch?
Continue ReadingNo wonder I’ve been havin …
No wonder I’ve been having financial problems, I just found out my wages have been going directly to rapper Lloyd Banks.
Continue ReadingMy wife said to me that s …
My wife said to me that she spends too much time on her feet. I told her I under stand.
Continue ReadingNow theres Karma for you, …
Now theres Karma for you, just seen a Porsche 911 crash into the Pound shop
Continue ReadingI had a terrible first da …
I had a terrible first day running my new store, the stock flew off the shelves. I should probably get bird cages for my pet shop.
Continue ReadingMy wife doesn’t get irony …
My wife doesn’t get irony. Its a game I invented to get crease-less shirts out of her.
Continue ReadingMy local golf shop is sel …
My local golf shop is selling all its stock to stay in business. The putters, the drivers and the irons are all gone, but they’re not out of the woods yet.
Continue ReadingI opened the fridge and a …
I opened the fridge and a lettuce told me to back the favourite in the 3.25 at Ascot. I think it’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Continue ReadingThe Sun: ‘Elton John Boun …
The Sun: ‘Elton John Bounces Baby Boy On His Knee’. That’s a bit cruel……I bet the baby has got a sore knee now.
Continue ReadingI was sitting in the bus …
I was sitting in the bus when an old lady got on. “Would you give me your seat, young man”, she asked me. “Well, I’m afraid it’s attached to the floor”, I said.
Continue ReadingWhen we were alone in the …
When we were alone in the kitchen the other day, I asked my sister-in-law what she wanted for her birthday. She leaned in close and whispered that what she really wanted was a good roger ring. So far, I’ve been to Hinds, H. Samuels, Argos, and Ernest Jones, and no-one knows what they are. She’s […]
Continue ReadingA man walks into a bar wi …
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, “A beer please, and one for the road.”
Continue ReadingMy missus had a face lift …
My missus had a face lift today. I pressed ‘close door’ on the elevator before she managed to get in properly.
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