You know it’s time to sor …
You know it’s time to sort your life out when you purposely undercook pizzas just so it cheers you up when you get to a warm bit.
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If you were lost in fog, …
If you were lost in fog, would you be mist?
Continue ReadingJust saw a sign: “No hang …
Just saw a sign: “No hanging ham. Offenders will be proscuittoted.”
Continue ReadingMy friend Max hates going …
My friend Max hates going up steep hills. He’s always been a bit of an anti-climb Max.
Continue ReadingTOP TIP FOR DWARFS Make s …
TOP TIP FOR DWARFS Make sure you never have enough money to buy things. It will amuse us when you tell them this at the till.
Continue ReadingI just saw a falconer in …
I just saw a falconer in an electric wheelchair. Must have been Stephen Hawking.
Continue ReadingAs I sat and stared up at …
As I sat and stared up at the inky blackness that was the night sky and wondered at the infinite tiny points of light that twinkled like the most beautiful kaleidoscope diamonds, I thought to myself…… I really must fix the roof on this toilet
Continue ReadingGardeners. Avoid being ca …
Gardeners. Avoid being caught out by the hosepipe ban by simply leaving your outside tap on over night and flooding your garden.
Continue ReadingThe big boss came into th …
The big boss came into the office today and he said my department was childish. He said something else as well but we didn’t hear that because we ran away from him.
Continue ReadingWhat did the Spanish fire …
What did the Spanish fireman name his two kids? Jose & Hose B
Continue ReadingMy dad was a gangster in …
My dad was a gangster in Bethnal Green in the 1960’s. It was all the Crays back then.
Continue Readingdark humour, some people …
dark humour, some people just dont see it.
Continue ReadingI cant help but feel sor …
I cant help but feel sorry for those dying souls floating around in that putrid horrible infected water! Poor rats!!
Continue ReadingI don’t know why local en …
I don’t know why local environmentalists are objecting to the ‘Save the tree’ scheme as I’ve saved over a hundred trees since I started. They’re stacked in my back garden.
Continue ReadingIfyou’rehappyandyouknowit …
Ifyou’rehappyandyouknowit,shareyourmeds.
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