Author: qjoq.com

I held the door open for a beautiful young woman earlier today and said, “After you my dear.” I was really proud of myself. She said, “Ahhh, thank-you. It’s not often you find such a gentleman in today’s World.” I replied, “Oh nonsense! No no no no, what I meant was… I’m after you.”

I invited my friend over the other day for a drink but he spent the whole night on my computer playing solitaire. He really tested my patience.

Chicken pot pie sounds like such a good idea…. If you add commas.

Getting hired as a designer for the “Bench & Chair” company wasn’t easy. But apparently they really enjoyed my stool sample.

I went to see the doctor for help with my neuroses. He told me to cut the stems about half an inch from the bottom, and put them in a vase.

I’ve got a mate who kneels on old women. He likes to pray on the elderly.

My mate just told me he’s off to stay in an apartment in the Middle East. “Dubai?” I asked. “No” he replied “just renting”.

What do the donkeys on Blackpool beach get for lunch? Half an hour like everybody else.

I went for a job interview last week but I lost out to a Pole. I’m not too bothered though, I didn’t really want to spend three weeks holding up a tent.