My teenage daughter has j …
My teenage daughter has just told me she is pregnant, even though she took precautions. I took precautions too. I swapped her birth control pills with Rohypnol.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
First a global recession, …
First a global recession, then Australia catches up in flames, next an eartquake shakes Italy, and now there is a worldwide swine flu alert. God must be very happy with us sickipedians.
Continue ReadingMy opinion on fishmongers …
My opinion on fishmongers? Selfish.
Continue ReadingMan goes into a library a …
Man goes into a library and asks for a book on ‘Probability’. Librarian says, “It might be on that shelf over there”.
Continue ReadingJust because you are uniq …
Just because you are unique does not mean you are useful
Continue ReadingFree plectrums, please ta …
Free plectrums, please take your pick.
Continue ReadingI’ve just been to the Gal …
I’ve just been to the Galapagos Islands and wiped out all the giant tortoises……. It was turtle annihilation.
Continue ReadingAmy Winehouse is dead? N …
Amy Winehouse is dead? No.. Wait.. Its just a neglected horse.
Continue ReadingBarbeques. The only time …
Barbeques. The only time it is ever acceptable for a man to cook.
Continue ReadingI found a magic lamp the …
I found a magic lamp the other day, and wished for a drink. Got a djinn and tonic.
Continue Reading‘Wolfgang Mozart!’ said M …
‘Wolfgang Mozart!’ said Mozart’s friend ‘What?’ said Mozart And then they were both eaten by a gang of wolves.
Continue ReadingI’m going to loot some lo …
I’m going to loot some loreal products, because it’d be worth it.
Continue ReadingI have a half-brother. We …
I have a half-brother. We have the same parents, but he was born without legs.
Continue ReadingAnimal shaped mp3 players …
Animal shaped mp3 players? hey that was my Ideer!
Continue ReadingThe would be suicide bomb …
The would be suicide bomber on the american flight on christmas day failed to blow up the plane, but his actions have made airports worldwide introduce the new Full Body Scanners that see you naked. So while he failed to murder white people for their perversions and what not, he succeeded in allowing us unlimited […]
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