qjoq.com – Page 1612

Piers Morgan: Madonna is …

March 11qjoq.comLeave a Comment

Piers Morgan: Madonna is banned from new show because she’s boring and also a con-artist. Now that’s just ironic Piers.

If one more person calls …

March 11qjoq.comLeave a Comment

If one more person calls me melodramatic, I’m going to kill myself.

I was in the pub last nig …

March 10qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I was in the pub last night when my friend asked, “How’s business? Still slow?” I replied, “It’s so slow mate I don’t watch the clock, I watch the calender.”

My friends say I’m too ea …

March 10qjoq.comLeave a Comment

My friends say I’m too easy to please. I was delighted when they told me.

People in work think I’m …

March 10qjoq.comLeave a Comment

People in work think I’m weird because I told them that I think babies smell nice. I didn’t even get the chance to add “after 3 hours at 150 degrees.”

Jogging: it won’t help yo …

March 10qjoq.comLeave a Comment

Jogging: it won’t help your face, luv

My wife always says that …

March 10qjoq.comLeave a Comment

My wife always says that she’s going window shopping, but she never actually comes back with a window.

My girlfriend is like the …

March 10qjoq.comLeave a Comment

My girlfriend is like the Tube on a weekday. Dirty, overused, and people pay money and wait in queues to get into her.

I saw this guy getting undressed at the gym. “You’re a gynaecologist, aren’t you?” I said. “I am,” he said. “How did you know?” “Oh, just a guess,” I said, “but the Rolex around your bicep gave me a clue.”