I don’t know why small ch …
I don’t know why small chocolates called ‘fun sized’? if i called a midget fun sized, he’d kick off.
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I was reading ‘War and Pe …
I was reading ‘War and Peace’ in bed last night, when my wife said, “What made you want to read that?” I said, “It’s a long story.”
Continue ReadingI hate it when I’m smokin …
I hate it when I’m smoking in a restaurant and somebody starts to eat.
Continue ReadingOn reflection Hamster Mer …
On reflection Hamster Merry-Go-Round and other microwave games. Probably wasn’t the best book to give to a nine year old.
Continue ReadingBBC News- “Rail feret ‘ …
BBC News- “Rail feret ‘took London train.” Must have been pretty strong don’t you think?
Continue ReadingMy friends facebook statu …
My friends facebook status was – Callum Ellis My favourite position is the Kanye West. I stop her half way through and tell her Beyonc was better. 12 minutes ago Comment Like CALLUM ELLIS you have been named and shamed, dont steal our jokes and say they are your own, this is what will happen […]
Continue ReadingI came back from work yes …
I came back from work yesterday to see my wife hanging out of our top storey flat from the clothes line. I started laughing at her for being so thick but she didn’t appreciate it. So I cut her some slack.
Continue ReadingFacebook is down… Now …
Facebook is down… Now how else am i ment to publish sickipedian’s jokes, and take all credit for them.
Continue ReadingSky Sports Breaking News: …
Sky Sports Breaking News: Cesc Fabregas Unhurt After Minor Car Crash. Yeah, the clutches on those old Morris Minors can be tricky sometimes.
Continue ReadingAn annoying work colleagu …
An annoying work colleague told me today she was “like a ray of sunshine.” So I asked her if that was why she caused redness, irritation and a feeling of premature ageing.
Continue ReadingIs it just me, or are 80% …
Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the people you may know feature on Facebook people that you do know, but deliberately choose not to be friends with?
Continue ReadingWe stopped at one of thos …
We stopped at one of those ‘Pick your Own’ farms today and were allowed to fill a basket for five pounds. Bargain. Even if it did take us 4 hours to chop that cow up.
Continue ReadingI’ve not been able to ins …
I’ve not been able to insult my wife since starting my new job withthe charity “The Dogs Trust” as we never put a dog down!
Continue ReadingI think the argument for …
I think the argument for off centred seesaw’s is a bit one sided…..
Continue ReadingAll the emergency exits a …
All the emergency exits at work have got signs saying “Fire Door – Keep Shut” on them. They’d be useless if we ever had to evacuate the building.
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