I said, “I’ve bought some of that white plastic garden furniture” My mate said, “Bad idea mate. I’ve heard of loads of people getting seriously injured when the chairs break” I said, “I know … the mother-in-law is coming over for a barbecue this weekend”
Continue ReadingHow does Stephen Hawking press to take a picture of himself? Print Screen
Continue ReadingNow that Norwich City have been promoted, all the other premier league teams will need to modify their stadium seating areas – to provide ‘extra leg’ room.
Continue ReadingI’m dating a hacker. She keeps sending me raunchy pictures of myself.
Continue ReadingI was climbing Big Ben for charity, when all of a sudden my rope broke and I fell! But luckily I got snagged on the big hand of the clock, and then I thought… Hang on a minute….
Continue ReadingMy nose is the scenter of my face.
Continue ReadingWouldn’t it be quite Ironic if the people counting the postal strike ballot went on on strike?
Continue ReadingI feel sorry for auctioneers, they always have a lot to deal with.
Continue ReadingTop Recession Busting Tip: Dont waste your money on an ‘A to Z’ when you only ever go from A to B anyway.
Continue ReadingNothing says ‘We’re a fun company!’ quite like comic sans.
Continue ReadingMy neighbour asked if he could borrow some snow from my snowman. I just gave him the cold shoulder.
Continue ReadingI bought some baby potatoes earlier. He just looked at them and dribbled.
Continue ReadingEveryone moans about women drivers but my nan has been driving for 50 years now and she’s never had a accident. Although she has seen hundreds
Continue ReadingI got jumped by a man armed with a cricket bat. It knocked me for six.
Continue ReadingI drove over a woman the other day, then I thought to myself “it couldn’t of been a woman”, I wasn’t in the kitchen.
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