I went bob-sleighing last …
I went bob-sleighing last week. I managed to kill Bob Geldof and Bob Hoskins.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Top Tip ~ Spice up your h …
Top Tip ~ Spice up your hamster’s dull life by making a ball pit out of a margarine tub filled with M&M’s.
Continue ReadingI get annoyed when retail …
I get annoyed when retailers insist on charging 99p, or 9.99 for products. I usually tell them to ‘keep the change’ but they get very angry. More often than not, they throw me out of the shop. In fact, if I had a penny for every time it happened, the situation could be avoided altogether.
Continue ReadingMy mate thinks he has dis …
My mate thinks he has discovered body parts of a cow in his garden. Personally I reckon it`s a load of old bull.
Continue ReadingIf your cow is better tha …
If your cow is better than everyone else’s Don’t milk it.
Continue Reading“Duran Duran” to headline …
“Duran Duran” to headline at the Olympics Opening Concert. Let’s hope they don’t pick “The Specials” for the Paralympics.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend bought me s …
My girlfriend bought me some camouflage boxer shorts today. Looks like I’m going Commando.
Continue ReadingMy mate asked me to look …
My mate asked me to look after his detective agency while he goes abroad on a surveillance mission. I told him to mind his own business.
Continue ReadingWhen I’m peckish I like t …
When I’m peckish I like to eat dental amalgam because it’s filling.
Continue ReadingI see in the news that Ko …
I see in the news that Koalas are in danger of being extinct within the next 30 years…which makes the 2 stuffed ones that I bought on my holidays a decent investment.
Continue ReadingAccording to a recent sur …
According to a recent survey by the Academy of Incomplete Research, nine out of ten
Continue ReadingI thought I saw Bruce Wil …
I thought I saw Bruce Willis yesterday – except he was twice as tall and wide… must’ve been his body double
Continue ReadingOnce you’ve seen one rugb …
Once you’ve seen one rugby joke, you’ve seen a maul.
Continue ReadingMy wifes been a mime for …
My wifes been a mime for about a year now and I’m leaving her. I’ve had enough of her charades.
Continue ReadingIf history has taught us …
If history has taught us anything, it’s about things that happened in the past.
Continue Reading