“UN-Staffed office bombed …
“UN-Staffed office bombed” Just as well there was no-one there then.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I love playing chess agai …
I love playing chess against Fred Goodwin, my Queen always takes his Knight.
Continue ReadingI’ve just stubbed my big …
I’ve just stubbed my big toe on the end of my bed. It was silly to even try and smoke it in the first place really.
Continue ReadingI was told today to treat …
I was told today to treat everyday as if it was my last. I’ve decided to treat everyday as if it was my first instead. It’s OK but it annoys my Mum a bit.
Continue ReadingI saw in the news that Fa …
I saw in the news that Facebook chat has been playing up. This had had an effect on me, my contacts online is listed as (0) Or maybe it’s just because I’m ginger.
Continue ReadingA guy is lost and asks fo …
A guy is lost and asks for directions: “Excuse me, which is the quickest way to Leeds from here?” “Well, are you in a car or on the bus?” “In my Car” “Yeah, the car would be the quickest way”
Continue ReadingThe butcher in Derby has …
The butcher in Derby has just brought out a new product, Stuffed ram.
Continue ReadingI went into a second-hand …
I went into a second-hand shop the other day. I was looking through all of the films when I suddenly spotted Bambi for 20 whole English pounds. I thought, “That’s a little dear.”
Continue ReadingI was looking online to b …
I was looking online to buy a new punchbag. Plentyoffish.com has some amazing offers!
Continue ReadingI’ve been locked in conve …
I’ve been locked in conversation with my wife for over an hour now. She will do anything to find out how my day was.
Continue ReadingThere was never supposed …
There was never supposed to be a lowercase i in front of the Pod, but Apple couldn’t figure out how to stop autocorrect putting it there.
Continue ReadingI’ve just registered for …
I’ve just registered for the ‘World bubble wrap bursting championship’. I haven’t got much of a chance but I thought I’d have a pop.
Continue ReadingI lie awake night after n …
I lie awake night after night trying remember the name of that French bloke who plays for Aston Villa I think it could be N’Zomnia
Continue ReadingMy wife came home yesterd …
My wife came home yesterday and burst into the room and without explanation said she wanted a divorce and threw me out of the house straight afterwards. I was left with only the clothes I stood up in . . . . . . Our daughter’s bra and panties!
Continue ReadingIf at first you don’t suc …
If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.
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