Was reading a book on How …
Was reading a book on How to be a Vet, and the dog on the front really annoyed me, so I put it down.
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The Microsoft Car didn’t …
The Microsoft Car didn’t live up to expectations on release date. Having too many windows open seems to make it crash.
Continue ReadingI’ve just been sacked fro …
I’ve just been sacked from my job at the post office but I think I was too young for it anyway. All day long I would sit there sorting letters and listening to the radio but every time a song finished I would open one of the parcels.
Continue ReadingImagine my horror. You’ll …
Imagine my horror. You’ll have to. I can’t be bothered writing a scary story.
Continue ReadingDaily Mail: “Heart stoppi …
Daily Mail: “Heart stopping moment a great white shark attacked a fishing boat full of friends” Well, I doubt they’re his friends now.
Continue ReadingI saw a real cute blond g …
I saw a real cute blond girl in a bar, so i went up to her and asked her what her name was, She said to me ” Chantel” I said, “Oh go on”
Continue ReadingI was re-tiling my bathro …
I was re-tiling my bathroom but when I’d nearly finished I realised I didn’t have enough. I desperately tried to re-arrange them to look alright, but it was too futile.
Continue ReadingI am totally against batt …
I am totally against battery farming. I believe tractors should run on diesel.
Continue ReadingSo according to a joke I …
So according to a joke I read earlier Sickipedia is a bit like football. It was a lot easier to score in the old days. It’s more a brothel Easier to score in the old days, there used to be some good stuff and when you wanted a suck you got a full one instead […]
Continue ReadingI’ve never believed in ho …
I’ve never believed in horses. I’m a neightheist.
Continue ReadingSince the recession there …
Since the recession there have been many people layed off from work in the roofing business. I am willing to employ as many of them as possible in my factories in hope of saving them from being out on the streets. Up to now I have 115 names on my shinglers list.
Continue ReadingI have this condition… …
I have this condition… When I can’t sleep all I want to do is eat.. …it’s called Insom-nom-nom-nia
Continue ReadingI got an advice slip from …
I got an advice slip from the cash machine today, It read ‘Don’t re-heat chicken once it’s cooked’
Continue ReadingChickens… …stuff ’em. …
Chickens… …stuff ’em.
Continue ReadingMe and the wife met on ho …
Me and the wife met on holiday in Spain. I simply refused to fly on the same plane as her.
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