It looks as though Facebo …
It looks as though Facebook are going to be sued for not letting their investors have access to some important information. For once it looks like their privacy settings have actually worked.
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As a marine engineer, I a …
As a marine engineer, I am frequently called in to repair the engine lubrication systems on small harbour boats. I love my oily tug jobs.
Continue ReadingI’m trying to write a boo …
I’m trying to write a book. I’ve already done a, b and o. I reckon the last bit should be ok.
Continue ReadingFacebook Mobile – For whe …
Facebook Mobile – For when you having a poo and there’s no reading material.
Continue ReadingI can’t tell you how prou …
I can’t tell you how proud I was there, standing on the stage with my “Attic Of The Year” award, holding it a loft.
Continue ReadingI thought Yosemite was a …
I thought Yosemite was a ‘street’ way to greet a Jew?
Continue Reading“Not Wally, Not Wally, No …
“Not Wally, Not Wally, Not Wally, Not Wally, Not Wally, Not Wally, Not Wally, Not Wally, Wally, Not Wally…” Where’s Wally Audiobook
Continue ReadingWhat do you call a man wi …
What do you call a man with twin teenage daughters? Mate.
Continue ReadingMy wife told me that she …
My wife told me that she was fed up with me sitting around the house and that I should get a trade. So I swapped her for a stripper.
Continue ReadingMy nan phoned me yesterda …
My nan phoned me yesterday and said, “Would you mind walking to the shops and bringing me back a sausage roll from the bakers?” I said, “Why can’t you do it?” She said, “Because it’s too hot”. I said, “Well wear some gloves then”.
Continue ReadingThey told me straight awa …
They told me straight away at the interview that I wasn’t suitable for the job. “You haven’t had any experience in the restaurant business as a Sous Chef, have you?” they said. “How could you tell?” I asked. “Well,” came the reply, “the eagle feathers and warpaint.”
Continue ReadingI love this time of year. …
I love this time of year. The sun is out, the weathers warm, more importantly the holiday pictures are up!
Continue ReadingI bought some Greek olive …
I bought some Greek olives in Tescos today. They were on special offer: Buy 1, Give half back.
Continue ReadingI like my women how I lik …
I like my women how I like my pizza. Folded in half and dripping down the middle.
Continue ReadingI’m planning on making a …
I’m planning on making a new Facebook account with the name “benefits” …That way when a few people add me, it’ll say “X and 6 other people are now friends with benefits”
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