I was watching ‘Worlds mo …
I was watching ‘Worlds most dangerous drivers’ yesterday… On my in car TV
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I got my child to sleep l …
I got my child to sleep last night by just repeatedly saying ‘bursary’. It was the only nursery rhyme I could think of.
Continue ReadingA light aircraft crashed …
A light aircraft crashed into a school last night. It was a textbook landing.
Continue ReadingI’m tired of not sleeping …
I’m tired of not sleeping.
Continue ReadingAccidentally ran over and …
Accidentally ran over and killed the neighbour’s cat this morning. With a chainsaw.
Continue ReadingMy phone is shaped like a …
My phone is shaped like an Italian dumpling. It’s a Gnocchia.
Continue ReadingLegitimate CD sales are k …
Legitimate CD sales are killing piracy.
Continue ReadingI love my English teacher …
I love my English teacher. I would hate him if he was any other nationality.
Continue ReadingFacebook: Because the bes …
Facebook: Because the best cure for boredom is telling the world how bored you are…
Continue ReadingEverything is easier said …
Everything is easier said than done. Except procrastination.
Continue ReadingA German cat gave birth t …
A German cat gave birth to 6 kittens. 5 of them were all healthy, but one was stillborn. The healthy kittens will have nine lives, while the stillborn kitten will have nein lives
Continue ReadingSo you lot think your a p …
So you lot think your a pretty tough crowd eh? I bet you’ve never asked a bus load of Black Panther members where you can find the nearest Klan meeting? Yeah, didn’t think so! Dave inpatient The Wellington Hospital Spinal Unit- Wellington Place St Johns Wood London NW8 9LE
Continue ReadingI was backing up the car …
I was backing up the car this morning. Should be easier to get back if I lose it now.
Continue ReadingI went to the travel agen …
I went to the travel agent today and the agent said, “Did you know, two out of three people take an holiday in England.” I replied, “Great, I’d like to book a caravan in Cornwall for the wife and her mother, and I’ll have the all inclusive to Barbados please.”
Continue ReadingNothing turns me on more …
Nothing turns me on more than a switch.
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