What do we want? A ban on …
What do we want? A ban on this style of joke. When do we want it? After this one.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I brought some new towels …
I brought some new towels and the lady in the shop told me to wash my brand new towels in a cup of salt and cold water. As hard as I try the bath towel just wont fit in the cup. Stupid shop woman.
Continue ReadingI was speaking to my Amer …
I was speaking to my American friend who lives in Mississippi on the phone earlier and he said there is allot of ‘Anti-British’ feeling at the moment due to the BP fiasco. In hindsight, perhaps saying, “Maybe the England v USA game will pour oil on troubled waters” wasn’t my best move.
Continue ReadingI tried World of Warcraft …
I tried World of Warcraft and an error showed up on my computer. It seems my bank account doesn’t support WoW. It suggests I upgrade my job and try again.
Continue ReadingDim or bright lightbulbs? …
Dim or bright lightbulbs? Watts the difference.
Continue ReadingI’d only used it once and …
I’d only used it once and it was no good so I took it back to the shop, with my receipt, and asked for my money back. The manager said that they don’t do that with scratch cards.
Continue ReadingI recently bought a hen, …
I recently bought a hen, but every time I touch it I get an electric shock. I think it’s from a battery farm.
Continue ReadingMe and my mate have just …
Me and my mate have just been fighting over which is the best vowel. I won.
Continue ReadingI got my son a Darth Vade …
I got my son a Darth Vader helmet for Christmas but forgot to buy batteries. No problem as I had a 40 foot extension cable under the stairs. Can’t wait to see his little face light up.
Continue ReadingWhat do you call 22 mushr …
What do you call 22 mushrooms playing football. The Champignon League.
Continue ReadingDrawing on a rubber. The …
Drawing on a rubber. The ultimate irony.
Continue ReadingI wanted to be a bouncer, …
I wanted to be a bouncer, but they wouldn’t let me in.
Continue ReadingI wish I stopped being ab …
I wish I stopped being able to get erections sooner. I keep overhearing my wife telling all her friends how important I am now!!! Don’t know why they think being important is funny?
Continue ReadingAs soon as I finished my …
As soon as I finished my GCSEs, I dropped English, Maths, all of the Sciences, Art, Geography and French…. … and the rest is history.
Continue ReadingWhen I was younger my mum …
When I was younger my mum came home to find my puppies were all dead…..So she went off to the pet store to buy some new ones, In the hope I wouldn’t notice! But i did……… And I killed them to!
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