I never used to agree wit …
I never used to agree with arsonists setting fire to houses, until I became homeless. Now I’ve started to warm to them.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I’ve just invented a choc …
I’ve just invented a chocolate and hazelnut sweet that can go from nought to sixty in 4.5 seconds and reach speeds of 180mph. Ferrari Rocher.
Continue ReadingQuestion: Before the inve …
Question: Before the invention of the airplane, how did they used to feed babies?
Continue ReadingJust logged into my insta …
Just logged into my instant messenger, and my wife is online. Under her name is says Idle. Technology is so smart these days.
Continue Readingeven though i have grown …
even though i have grown up, i’m still into the same type of girls i was back when i was in primary school, blonde, blue eyes, slim, five…
Continue ReadingJust tried my hand at sta …
Just tried my hand at standup. My feet were definitely better.
Continue ReadingWhen she retired, I thoug …
When she retired, I thought I’d treat my wife to her dream holiday, travelling along Route 66. By the end of the second week she’d stopped speaking to me, but I didn’t mind, I’d become quite friendly with Iqbal the bus conductor.
Continue ReadingWhat do the Internet and …
What do the Internet and Religion have in common ? They are both filled with lies and peadophiles
Continue ReadingYahoo;’Flamingo chase shu …
Yahoo;’Flamingo chase shuts runway.’ Apparently her brother Chevy put her up to it.
Continue ReadingHaving not long seen Derr …
Having not long seen Derren Brown predict the National Lottery numbers, I was amazed. However, I’m sure that people who missed it and have to watch Channel 4 +1 will be far less impressed.
Continue ReadingLast night my wife remind …
Last night my wife reminded me that it was our daughters birthday today and told me to go get her something. She also asked if i could get her a box of tissues because our son had a cold and some lube for later. So i popped off to the store and found my daughter […]
Continue ReadingI bought a bag of compost …
I bought a bag of compost from my local B & Q, and when I got home I was shocked to discover the label said, “With Added John Innes”. The local police don’t even seem to want to know.
Continue ReadingNew Pirates of the Carrib …
New Pirates of the Carribean movie out soon. Rated Arrgh
Continue ReadingA man walked into a libra …
A man walked into a library and asked for 33 books on Mine Rescue. The librarian asked him, “Are you sure you want them all out?”.
Continue ReadingI’ve just bought my alzhe …
I’ve just bought my alzheimers suffering granddad a memory foam mattress for his birthday. Oh the irony.
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