qjoq.com – Page 1571

I went into the library a …

I went into the library and asked “have you any books on Maddie McCann?” The librarian said “yes, they’re just over by the window. Just take one”

Last month, I went to africa to go on a hunting trip. After returning at the end of a long day my host asked me; “How did it go?” I happily replied, Pretty good, I shot a Lion, 3 zebras and 8 Doshus The man looked slightly bemused, but congratulated me nonetheless. On the following […]

Just bought ‘A History of …

April 16qjoq.comLeave a Comment

Just bought ‘A History of Candles’ from Waterstones. I like nothing better than a little light reading before bed.

I was working on receptio …

April 16qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I was working on reception at a large hotel when this guy walks in dressed In a full suit of armour, “can I help” I asked, He said ” yes have you got a room, just for one knight”.

I can’t wait to take the …

April 16qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I can’t wait to take the kids trick-or-treating for the first time today! I just hope we don’t knock on their parents house by mistake.

I never knew dogs could b …

April 16qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I never knew dogs could be racist. Then I met a sniffer dog.

Give a man a fish, he’ll …

April 16January 1qjoq.comLeave a Comment

Give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he’ll eat for life. Give an octopus nunchucks, and no-one’s eating fish ever again.

I used to work in a Velcr …

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I used to work in a Velcro shop, but I had to quit after I got too attached to my job.

The last time I went on h …

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The last time I went on holiday, I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I must remember to take more toilet paper in future.

I’m a kleptomaniac and my …

April 16qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I’m a kleptomaniac and my favourite pop group is Take That, and that, and this, and those and ………….

I have extreme burns on m …

April 16qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I have extreme burns on my face… I have a pretty funky looking goatee as well.

Slogan Of 2010 Google Be …

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Slogan Of 2010 Google Before You Tweet Is The New Think Before You Speak –

I was with the wife earl …

April 15qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I was with the wife earlier at Toys R Us , and she decided to pick up one of those Hula Hoops and give it a whirl. I’m not saying she’s fat but a little Boy who was playing with a Telescope nearby said “Look Mum, i can see Saturn”.