My wife is due to go on a …
My wife is due to go on a long car journey today for work and insists she doesnt need a map, but Im sure she will lose her bearings. Especially as Ive taken them out and loosened the wheels.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I was recently hired as a …
I was recently hired as an auctioneer. The company said “We think you have a lot to offer”
Continue ReadingI went to a restaurant ne …
I went to a restaurant near Wimbledon. I thought the service would be better.
Continue ReadingIt says ‘recyclable items …
It says ‘recyclable items only’ on our wheelie bin,so i put our kids new bike in it.
Continue ReadingPeople say ‘I’m taking it …
People say ‘I’m taking it one day at a time’. You know what? So is everybody. That’s how time works.
Continue ReadingAs I was gazing at the st …
As I was gazing at the stars last night, I could just make out the a silhouette of a man beating a woman. I think it must have been a Stella constellation.
Continue Reading“All you need is love” go …
“All you need is love” good song, bad advice from a tennis coach.
Continue ReadingEggs – The original bonel …
Eggs – The original boneless chicken!
Continue ReadingManchester City are set t …
Manchester City are set to rename their stadium to ‘The Etihad Stadium’, which translates to…. ‘The United Stadium’ Fail.
Continue ReadingWhats the the difference …
Whats the the difference between Steven Barker and Gary Glitter? One beats up kids and the other beats off on kids.
Continue ReadingI was looking up skirts i …
I was looking up skirts in the library today. Afterwards, I returned the dictionary.
Continue ReadingTonight I saw a sign that …
Tonight I saw a sign that said, ‘Smoking kills’. I thought, ‘Wow, a talking sign.’
Continue ReadingI just climbed the second …
I just climbed the second highest mountain in the world. Mount Everer.
Continue ReadingI just doggy-styled my wi …
I just doggy-styled my wife. Now she has a poodle hairdo.
Continue ReadingIt’s cute when your child …
It’s cute when your child comes home from nursery and tells you that she’s got a new boyfriend… …this changes however, when you find out that he is older than you…
Continue Reading