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Paddy and his wife are di …

April 18qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Paddy and his wife are di …

Paddy and his wife are distraught that there dog has gone missing. After a week his wife, becoming more and more upset, tells Paddy to place a message in the local newspaper, hoping that someone may have spotted him. When Paddy return from his duty, his wife asks; “Well, have you done it?”. “Yes” replies […]

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Sonny Gibson must be spin …

April 18qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Sonny Gibson must be spin …

Sonny Gibson must be spinning in his grave.

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A donkey walks into a bar …

April 18qjoq.comLeave a Comment on A donkey walks into a bar …

A donkey walks into a bar. “Where’s the horse?” asks the barman. “Recession,” says the donkey.

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Is it just me or do you a …

April 18qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Is it just me or do you a …

Is it just me or do you automatically think “duplicate” when you hear a joke in the pub now?

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I’ve just paid 1000 for a …

April 18qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I’ve just paid 1000 for a …

I’ve just paid 1000 for a sheepskin rug. I think i’ve been fleeced.

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You know you’ve got issue …

April 18qjoq.comLeave a Comment on You know you’ve got issue …

You know you’ve got issues when you start looking up seriously ill celebrities, rather than dead ones, and planning your jokes months in advance.

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Watched a magician live o …

April 18qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Watched a magician live o …

Watched a magician live on tv last night, he done this trick where he made everyone in the rooms hands repel like magnets. I thought it was brilliant, but the audiance looked a bit hesitant to applaud it

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In the early 1940’s, Euro …

April 18January 1qjoq.comLeave a Comment on In the early 1940’s, Euro …

In the early 1940’s, Europe had no videogames, Internet or TV. Thank God we had Germany to keep us occupied

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A pair of 18 hole Dr Mart …

April 18qjoq.comLeave a Comment on A pair of 18 hole Dr Mart …

A pair of 18 hole Dr Marten boots walk into a bar. Barman says, “Why the long lace?”

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I was lying on the couch …

April 18qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I was lying on the couch …

I was lying on the couch watching TV earlier, when my 10 year old boy came up to me and said, “Dad! I really want to do the father-son sports day at school tomorrow.” I laughed at him and said, “Aww Matthew that’s so sweet. But you don’t have a son.”

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I’ve been described as an …

April 18qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I’ve been described as an …

I’ve been described as an apathetic coward. I’m afraid I couldn’t care less.

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Every night I have to end …

April 18qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Every night I have to end …

Every night I have to endure hearing my neighbours arguing through the wall. I have no idea why one of them has to come round my house to do it.

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Veni, Vidi, Velcro… I c …

April 18qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Veni, Vidi, Velcro… I c …

Veni, Vidi, Velcro… I came I saw I stuck around

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The secrets of the baking …

April 18qjoq.comLeave a Comment on The secrets of the baking …

The secrets of the baking industry are given out only on a knead to dough basis.

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My wife always gets the w …

April 18January 1qjoq.comLeave a Comment on My wife always gets the w …

My wife always gets the wrong end of the stick. So now i just use a spade.

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