Ive changed my Mobile pr …
Ive changed my Mobile provider from O2 to a new service called Gypsy It has Free Roaming
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Guy Ritchie has described …
Guy Ritchie has described ex-wife Madonna as “a perfectly good screen actress”. He also thinks Andiry Voronin is a perfectly good footballer and Gerry McCann is a perfectly good father.
Continue ReadingSince my kids stopped bel …
Since my kids stopped believing in Santa, things have become quite awkward. They now know it’s me that doesn’t buy them presents.
Continue ReadingThere’s nothing wrong wit …
There’s nothing wrong with sleeping naked. I’ve just gotta stop having a nap on the train to work.
Continue ReadingI asked a blonde girl how …
I asked a blonde girl how many blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb. “It should only take one if the bulb is light.” she replied.
Continue ReadingBigPond news: ‘A man dres …
BigPond news: ‘A man dressed in a Darth Vader costume has robbed a bank in New York at gunpoint.’ Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Bank.
Continue ReadingI think my Son might be d …
I think my Son might be dyslexic. He came running up to me earlier ‘Dad look! I got nine out of ten in my spelling test today!’ ‘That’s great’, I said and had a look. ‘However… This is a maths test, see there, where it says maths test? Also, you didn’t get nine out of […]
Continue ReadingNo, I said I was fully tr …
No, I said I was fully trained in SECOND aid…. Which means I can give you looks of concern until someone that knows first aid gets here.
Continue ReadingI always thought i wanted …
I always thought i wanted a career, as it turns out, i just wanted the paychecks.
Continue ReadingMy laptop stopped working …
My laptop stopped working when I left it in direct sunlight I blame windows
Continue ReadingMy bbq is all planned but …
My bbq is all planned but my budget has gone on food and no entertainment…… So I have put some bird food out see if I can get some cheap music….
Continue ReadingI just sent all of my spi …
I just sent all of my spiderman and Batman magazines to Africa. Think I got the wrong idea about comic relief.
Continue ReadingThe severity of the itch …
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it
Continue ReadingI made Apple crumble toda …
I made Apple crumble today! I told her Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow were dead
Continue ReadingOne swallow does not make …
One swallow does not make a summer, but one spit can sure make a fall. Down the stairs.
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