Just launched in Korea, a …
Just launched in Korea, a new instant snack.. Pot Poodle!!
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I saw a headline in the p …
I saw a headline in the paper that said “Millwall firm favourites for West Ham clash” I can’t believe they would encourage football hooliganism like that.
Continue ReadingSo Primark were forced to …
So Primark were forced to remove their bikini for 7 year olds from sale, yet Tescos are still allowed to sell all those school uniforms.
Continue ReadingI was supposed to be havi …
I was supposed to be having my appendix out today but after all the tests they’ve told me it was a false alarm. I don’t even remember eating one.
Continue ReadingOne day you accidentally …
One day you accidentally mis-type the address to wikipedia, the next, you’re instantly suspicious of black people and can’t help but feel your wife spends too much time out of the kitchen.
Continue ReadingI was looking through the …
I was looking through the employment section of the paper today and saw a vacancy for an acrobat, I thought, perfect, I could do that standing on my head..
Continue ReadingMy son is a terrible dres …
My son is a terrible dresser. Does a great bureau though, seriously, doesn’t move an inch when you compose a letter on him.
Continue ReadingMy wife’s really into thr …
My wife’s really into threesomes. Shame it’s starters, mains and desserts.
Continue ReadingA human foot washed up on …
A human foot washed up on the banks of the river Mersey today as did one in the river Thames and the Humber! Three feet in one day! I’ve called the yard.
Continue ReadingOffice relationships neve …
Office relationships never work out, they always end badly. Mine was especially traumatic. I married her.
Continue ReadingA mathematics teacher was …
A mathematics teacher was stopped trying to board a plane at Heathrow today carrying a slide rule, a protractor and a calculator. He was charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.
Continue ReadingThe girlfriend asked me ” …
The girlfriend asked me ” how many women have you slept with”? I said ” I won’t give you the number but I can count them all on one hand.” “Brilliant” she said. And under my breath I counted 5,10,15,20…….
Continue ReadingOur MD kept going on abou …
Our MD kept going on about the company’s 2012 goals today. “Don’t you think 2012 is a few too many goals?” I finally asked him. “Wouldn’t we be better off sticking to 4 or 5?”
Continue ReadingI’ve got a black lab, Whe …
I’ve got a black lab, Where I conduct experiments on African’s .
Continue ReadingI’ve named my daughter Se …
I’ve named my daughter Semitism so that when my son has a kid, she’ll be known as Auntie-Semitism.
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