To be frank, would involv …
To be frank, would involve changing my name
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I’m very happy,. I just b …
I’m very happy,. I just been to the hospital for a brain scan but nothing showed up
Continue ReadingMy wife was in a car cras …
My wife was in a car crash recently.. She was an extra in Ricky Gervais’s Derek.
Continue ReadingThey should change the ‘P …
They should change the ‘People you may know’ thing to ‘People you probably hate’
Continue ReadingJust heard about Apples n …
Just heard about Apples new app which lets you order a pizza, anywhere, from your Iphone. I reckon I must have got a special one because mine already does this.
Continue ReadingI was playing footie in t …
I was playing footie in the park today and ended up getting a couple of bookings. The ref said I’ll be looking at some form of suspension. “No problem,” I replied, “It could be the shock absorbers. I’ve got to fit a new clutch for the goalie on Monday. Would Tuesday be OK?”
Continue ReadingSince my wife died the ho …
Since my wife died the house has looked a mess and it has begun to smell. I should probably tell someone about the body.
Continue ReadingI can’t stand people who …
I can’t stand people who contradict themselves, they’re alright.
Continue Reading*Phew* People came to my …
*Phew* People came to my party Few people came to my party Sometimes spelling doesn’t matter either way you’re still a desperate loser.
Continue ReadingI used go out with an ane …
I used go out with an anesthetist… she was a local girl.
Continue ReadingWhy does a Frenchman only …
Why does a Frenchman only have one egg for breakfast? I give up.
Continue ReadingIf carlsberg did Facebook …
If carlsberg did Facebook…. chat would probably work.
Continue ReadingHow do you seduce Iron Ma …
How do you seduce Iron Man? Ferro moans.
Continue ReadingSome religious nut just a …
Some religious nut just approached me in the street and said, “Do you think the world will ever end?” I said, “I doubt it, it’s a circle.”
Continue ReadingA few weeks ago, my broth …
A few weeks ago, my brother said he and his family were going on holiday. My 8 year old niece asked if I would come in her suitcase. As it turns out, it seems I misunderstood her.
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