I have a great life, I be …
I have a great life, I beat my wife and kids every night. When I’m armed with seven chips and a scrabble board, I’m unstoppable…
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
How do you make a cat dri …
How do you make a cat drink? 1 cat, 2 lemons, Vodka and serve with ice.
Continue ReadingI got caught speeding yes …
I got caught speeding yesterday. The policeman asked me to step out of the car and walk in a straight line. Half way down he stopped me and said, “I’m sorry sir, but you’ll have to come back to the station with me as you’re staggering.” I replied, “Oohh, you little tiger, you’re not so […]
Continue ReadingI enrolled at a ‘Lock-pic …
I enrolled at a ‘Lock-picking for beginners’ course at College in September. But I’m still struggling to get into it.
Continue ReadingWhen at the end of a job …
When at the end of a job interview and they ask if you have any questions, apparently ‘Where is the nearest petrol station? my orange light is on’ isn’t quite what they are looking for.
Continue ReadingAnyone want to buy a pack …
Anyone want to buy a pack of Polos? They’re in mint condition
Continue ReadingSome people consider me s …
Some people consider me stupid. Moron that later.
Continue ReadingMy son has been watching …
My son has been watching Home Alone and getting loads of funny ideas… like spending Christmas together as a family.
Continue ReadingEverything is easier said …
Everything is easier said than done. Except for talking, that’s about the same.
Continue ReadingI ran over my dog with th …
I ran over my dog with the lawnmower yesterday. He’s ok now though, after a little retail therapy.
Continue ReadingMy wife just made me a sa …
My wife just made me a sandwich. If I’m honest, being in the middle of two slices of bread isn’t all it’s cracked up to be
Continue ReadingI really felt the baby ki …
I really felt the baby kicking today. Think I might have broken my toe but it was a cheaper option than the abortion clinic.
Continue ReadingI like to confuse McDonal …
I like to confuse McDonald’s staff by using binary when ordering. I’ll have 1 Big Mac please.
Continue ReadingWhoever said that losing …
Whoever said that losing a loved one is the most painful thing imaginable has obviously never experienced a sickipedia bandwagon.
Continue ReadingMy mate’s made a ‘Dog Gro …
My mate’s made a ‘Dog Grooming video Guide’. It looks pretty good, he’s just shown me a clip.
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