Author: qjoq.com

I’ve just found out that a ‘hand shandy’ isn’t really a drink. Needless to say, the bar-maid got a good tip.

No one’s just left me. Because no one says I refuse to acknowlege no one’s existence.

I was working a broad last week. She loved it.

I accidently put my phone in the fridge yesterday. Been getting cold calls ever since.

I’ve got a double-barreled surname. I’m called Dave Shotgun.

I went to the doctor feeling ill and he said “Lie down and cover yourself in salt”. “How will that help?” I asked. “Don’t know”, he said, “But in a week’s time you’ll be cured”.

Surely there should be a shorter word for monosyllabic?

I was doing some DIY earlier when my daughter told me she was bored. So i nailed her to the shelf.