BMW to recall thousands o …
BMW to recall thousands of cars worldwide. Sounds like braking news to me.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Twice now, I’ve been arre …
Twice now, I’ve been arrested for stealing watches from jewellers all over town and using them to reinforce the wooden framework around my property. I’ve not been charged though as it’s my sekonda fence.
Continue ReadingA two-year-old American b …
A two-year-old American boy has been killed by pitbulls after opening his garage door for them. Understandably, the world is shocked, and asking itself the same question: how on earth did a two-year-old open a garage door?
Continue ReadingI was trying to write a n …
I was trying to write a novel whilst driving earlier but I hit a wall.
Continue ReadingI’m going to report the l …
I’m going to report the local Natural History Museum to the RSPCA. From the looks of it, they haven’t fed their T-Rex for ages.
Continue ReadingYou may have wondered why …
You may have wondered why ‘period’ and ‘full stop’ mean the same thing. If so, try going down on your girlfriend at the wrong time of the month.
Continue ReadingI like to write jokes on …
I like to write jokes on distances but I’ve gone too far this time.
Continue ReadingI think I’m going to star …
I think I’m going to start a facebook campaign to bring back the old sickipedia. It seems to work with everything else.
Continue ReadingA banker is a person who …
A banker is a person who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
Continue ReadingMy Jamaican friend said h …
My Jamaican friend said he’s going to start a business selling cocaine….. But it all went to pot
Continue ReadingMy boss caught me doing t …
My boss caught me doing the tango at work today and say, “Oi, do that on your own time!” So now I do a bit of break dancing.
Continue ReadingI wanted to start a busin …
I wanted to start a business grooming dogs. It’s not doing too well at the moment though. Not enough dogs have MSN.
Continue ReadingBBC NEWS: Amy Winehouse d …
BBC NEWS: Amy Winehouse died from alcohol withdrawl. I belive we have discovered the definition of irony.
Continue ReadingDoctors, tired of licking …
Doctors, tired of licking stamps? Simply attach your stamps to the underside of your tongue stick before the patient says ‘Aah.’
Continue ReadingMy wife likes to tease me …
My wife likes to tease me a bit by always asking “Is it in yet” I wish she would stop ordering obscure books from the Library where I work.
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