Anyone else see the irony …
Anyone else see the irony in female driving instructors?
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
My girlfriend left me tod …
My girlfriend left me today. She said i’m too much of a pushover. Thought it was a bit harsh. I was born with one leg.
Continue ReadingWhen it comes to politics …
When it comes to politics I tend to lean towards the left. But when it comes to alcohol, I tend to lean on things that arent even there.
Continue ReadingHow many minimalists does …
How many minimalists does it take to change a lightbulb. None.
Continue ReadingWhy do Marty McFly and Th …
Why do Marty McFly and The Doc think they’re so special? I’m always travelling forward in time.
Continue Readingyou know your dad’s cheap …
you know your dad’s cheap when he tells you to photocopy a stamp….
Continue ReadingQuasimodo was dancing in …
Quasimodo was dancing in a nightclub with this really fit bird when suddenly she noticed a big bulge in his pocket. “Quasi! You naughty boy! Whats that bulge in your pocket?” The girl purred “Oh!” Said quasi “its a picture of my dad”
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend tells me I …
My girlfriend tells me I should stop telling people useless information.
Continue ReadingMy young daughter came ho …
My young daughter came home complaining her scalp was itching and on closer inspection, there were written words all over her head. Something like .. ‘My first is in file but not in vile’ .. ‘My second in life, but not in wife’ .. ‘My third is in fell, but not in fall’ .. and […]
Continue ReadingMock the week. But not ta …
Mock the week. But not tax-dodging comedians, obviously.
Continue ReadingI got myself a new toy – …
I got myself a new toy – it’s a laminator. Basically, it’s a machine that kills baby sheep.
Continue ReadingI think morgues are reall …
I think morgues are really unfashionable. I certainly wouldnt be caught dead in one.
Continue ReadingIf walking is supposed to …
If walking is supposed to be so good for you, why does my postman look like Jabba the Hut?
Continue ReadingI fed my children some ra …
I fed my children some radioactive laxatives the other day….You should have seen their little faeces light up…….
Continue ReadingWoman in South London att …
Woman in South London attacked and killed by Belgian Mastiff. Police say she kept in the festive spirit right to the end, when she let out a little mauled whine…
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