I was having a heart to h …
I was having a heart to heart with my oyster family, but they just wouldn’t open up.
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I was so nervous on my fi …
I was so nervous on my first time that i cried in her arms and went limp in front of her… Still think i done alright on my driving test though.
Continue ReadingApparently, I always put …
Apparently, I always put childish phrases into sentences when they are not needed, well that’s what she said.
Continue ReadingI’m a Sickipedian and dup …
I’m a Sickipedian and duplicating Windows 7 jokes was someone else’s idea
Continue ReadingI used to be twins. My mo …
I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.
Continue ReadingI Purchased a Microwave B …
I Purchased a Microwave Bed today.. I can now have 8 Hours Sleep in 7 Seconds,
Continue ReadingMy parents have just thro …
My parents have just thrown me out. They think i treat the family home like a hotel, which i don’t! Either way I have 1 hour to pack my things and leave my key at reception.
Continue Reading“Child migrant detention …
“Child migrant detention attacked” Clearly the dog ate his homework.
Continue ReadingI was going to build a So …
I was going to build a Soup Kitchen for the Homeless. But I realised it’d be better if I made it out of Bricks and Cement.
Continue ReadingI don’t mind being a chil …
I don’t mind being a child’s toy, its just when people twist the key in my back, it really winds me up
Continue ReadingThe iPad 2 is a vast impr …
The iPad 2 is a vast improvement on the original. Now you can’t play Flash based content twice as fast as before.
Continue ReadingAs my wife started shakin …
As my wife started shaking nervously, and the tears rolled down her cheeks during her mums burial, the priest turned to me and said, “is this her first funeral?” “Yes,” I replied, “I’m pretty certain this is the first time she died.”
Continue ReadingI currently feel like a f …
I currently feel like a failed Roman… …unable to get into the forum.
Continue ReadingMe: in Nicaragua, beautif …
Me: in Nicaragua, beautiful women used to be thrown into volcanoes. Wife: you wouldn’t do that to me would you? Me: …………………., I said beautiful women
Continue ReadingThere was a sign outside …
There was a sign outside my hotel in Warsaw: “English, French, Spanish, German, Russian and Italian spoken here.” I tried to make myself understood in several of those languages, without success. In the end, using broken Polish, I asked one of the waiters to tell me who actually spoke all the languages on the sign. […]
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