I’ve been fishing for fiv …
I’ve been fishing for five hours now and the only thing in my net is two compliments.
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Cannibals are so full of …
Cannibals are so full of themselves.
Continue ReadingMy house got robbed whils …
My house got robbed whilst I was out yesterday. I believe a fat African dwarf was responsible… The neighbours said they saw a Black 4×4 leaving the scene.
Continue ReadingI enjoy visiting Elizabet …
I enjoy visiting Elizabethan tailors and getting ruffed up, It gives me a frill.
Continue ReadingI had a dream I was eatin …
I had a dream I was eating a giant marshmallow, and when I woke up… My wife was dead. Great morning all round, really.
Continue ReadingMy wife just spent three …
My wife just spent three whole weeks looking for my FIFA game. It was above and beyond the call of duty.
Continue ReadingI was at a fairground and …
I was at a fairground and saw a fortune-teller’s tent. I went inside and sat down. “Ah…..” said the woman as she gazed into her crystal ball. “I see you are the father of two children.” “That’s what you think,” I said scornfully. “I’m the father of THREE children.” The woman grinned and said “That’s […]
Continue ReadingEbay accounts are Forbidd …
Ebay accounts are Forbidden.
Continue ReadingWhole milk is good but I …
Whole milk is good but I prefer milk that came from the udder
Continue ReadingWe were in McDonald’s whe …
We were in McDonald’s when my mate said that he is fed up with me putting him down. I said ” Have a chicken nugget”.
Continue ReadingYou’ll never guess what I …
You’ll never guess what I saw on this mornings Thomas The Tank Engine…
Continue ReadingI came last in a hurdles …
I came last in a hurdles race and I never got over it. Probably why I came last.
Continue ReadingMy girlfiend just text me …
My girlfiend just text me “I’ll be having words with you later.” Brilliant! I love Alphabetti spaghetti.
Continue ReadingI first met my wife at th …
I first met my wife at the village fair It must have been fete.
Continue ReadingIs the Bridgend library t …
Is the Bridgend library the only one that does actually lend books on suicide?
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