Author: qjoq.com

“It’s taken me 60 years but I have finally read this book about my family dying in the Holocaust.” Librarian: “It’s over Jew.”

If I was reincarnated as a fish, I’d be gutted.

I’ve just seen a soul singer carrying a box of 80’s computers… I think it was Lionel Richie and the commodores.

Roads were congested around major cities as millions of office workers mistakenly travelled in on Bank Holiday Monday. Experts blame a commuter error.

I needed a break from my hectic life, so went to the theatre but I got the dates mixed up & a Chinese cookery exhibition was on instead. All wok & no play.

I’ve alway thought that M&S would be a different store if Mr. Spencer had his initial first.

Alcohol kills brian cells.

My new girlfriend found the small forest I’d made to create a battle scene for my Warhammer figures. I said, “Well this is Ork Wood”.

If I just run next door and take my neighbour’s ladder, he’s sure to notice. I’m going to have to take it one step at a time.

Why is it when a footballer “runs at defenders” he’s considered to have an ‘excellent attacking instinct’, but when I run at women I’m said to have ‘a disgusting attacking instinct’?