Went round Alanis Morrise …
Went round Alanis Morrisette’s house for dinner last night Took 10,000 knives with me, just in case…
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I was accused of being co …
I was accused of being condascending to deaf Muslims. I said, “Listen, Sunni…”
Continue ReadingI was taught a very valua …
I was taught a very valuable lesson today. Prospecting.
Continue ReadingTrying to find a stand-up …
Trying to find a stand-up comic is quite tricky. Would help if they were hard-backs.
Continue ReadingI saw Kate and Gerry bang …
I saw Kate and Gerry banging their steering wheel, but the horn was not working. It was then I realised, they were probably in car hoots.
Continue ReadingI’m not sure I like the w …
I’m not sure I like the way facebook lists all the local bike’s exes in the “People you may know” column.
Continue ReadingThe kid next door booted …
The kid next door booted a football into my garden, so I punctured it with a knife. He almost bled to death but I think he learnt his lesson.
Continue ReadingI suppose I got what I de …
I suppose I got what I deserved for punching my mates lights out. Electrocuted.
Continue ReadingA great ball of fire has …
A great ball of fire has just landed in my garden. I thought to myself, “Goodness gracious.”
Continue ReadingI like my tea nice and st …
I like my tea nice and strong. Not for any other reason than I find it highly amusing asking for a double bagger at work.
Continue ReadingHomeless people-You woudn …
Homeless people-You woudn’t be half as poor as you are if you didn’t waste all your money on sharpies and cardboard.
Continue ReadingEverytime the wife’s out …
Everytime the wife’s out of the way, I give my 8 year old, Harley, a good ridin’ and after years of punishment, she’s still as tight as ever. It’s that feeling of complete power and sense of danger that gets me going. Man I love bikes.
Continue ReadingA dog isn’t just for Chri …
A dog isn’t just for Christmas… Get one for your birthday too!
Continue ReadingI saw two Chinese blokes …
I saw two Chinese blokes dressed up trying to pretend to be Mark from TOWIE. They were useless at it. It just renforced the fact that two Wong’s dont make a Wright.
Continue ReadingMy kids are gone to stay …
My kids are gone to stay with their Australian relatives. Or as the judge called them, the “foster family”.
Continue Reading