Instead of Facebook askin …
Instead of Facebook asking the status question “What’s on your mind?” they should ask “What’s your problem today?”
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Drugs do cause amnesia an …
Drugs do cause amnesia and other things I can’t remember.
Continue ReadingI got Ainsley Harriot’s ‘ …
I got Ainsley Harriot’s ‘Friends and Family Cookbook’ for Christmas. I was a bit disappointed with it though, I quickly got bored of most of his recipes. To be fair though, there’s only so much you can make with a bunch of bananas.
Continue ReadingBeware of unnecessary war …
Beware of unnecessary warnings.
Continue ReadingI was speaking to a man f …
I was speaking to a man from Syria today and he said, “In my country, bear fighting is the most popular sport.” “That’s revolting.” I replied. “No, that’s our second most popular.”
Continue ReadingPrevention is better than …
Prevention is better than cure, they say. Not with bacon it isn’t.
Continue ReadingBob finishes off his lunc …
Bob finishes off his lunch in the restaurant and goes to get his coat, but is unable to find it. “Waiter?” he says. “Did you by any chance see someone stealing my coat?” “Yes,” says the waiter, “I did.” “Well?” says Bob. “Out with it! What did he look like?” The waiter shrugs his shoulders […]
Continue ReadingTo save on postage by mak …
To save on postage by making your parcel lighter, send it through lamp post.
Continue ReadingPlaygrounds 1991 – My dad …
Playgrounds 1991 – My dad’s tougher than your dad 2011 – My mum’s tattoos are better than your mums
Continue Reading“24 Stone man loses 240 p …
“24 Stone man loses 240 pounds in 1 day!” His gambling addiction was as bad as his eating disorder.
Continue ReadingHas anyone else thought o …
Has anyone else thought of going up to girl in a bar and saying, “Get your rat out love” Don’t bother.
Continue ReadingThe Guardian is now confi …
The Guardian is now confirming that Gaddafi was “killed in cold blood”. I’d rather die in warm custard.
Continue ReadingHomeless people- more mon …
Homeless people- more money than sense.
Continue ReadingMy wife ran out of petrol …
My wife ran out of petrol this morning. It wasn’t too much of a problem though, I still managed to light the vapour trail.
Continue ReadingI had a recurring dream o …
I had a recurring dream once.
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