I’m yet to form an opinio …
I’m yet to form an opinion on Marmite. Take that society.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I paid a building firm to …
I paid a building firm to renovate my property. Imagine my surprise when I turned up to find Mr T had dug a 20ft by 8ft hole in the garden, filled it with concrete, tiled it in blue mosaic and filled it with chlorinated water. I asked him what he was doing and he replied […]
Continue ReadingFile. Proof that life is …
File. Proof that life is what you make of it.
Continue ReadingBBC: “Bank to bring call …
BBC: “Bank to bring call centre back to the UK” How about bringing the money back while your at it?
Continue Reading407 dedicated, brave, her …
407 dedicated, brave, heroic British service men and women have been killed in Afghanistan since the invasion in 2001. On a separate note, the Americans have reported 406 bullets inexplicably missing from their armory.
Continue ReadingAround the festive time o …
Around the festive time of year, I get itchy skin inflammation all over my body that makes the shape of smiley faces. Happy Eczemas.
Continue ReadingThe girls in my area have …
The girls in my area have all of a sudden become really posh over the last few weeks. Everytime they see me they wave at me using just their little finger.
Continue ReadingSince splitting up with m …
Since splitting up with my wife I’m living a bachelor life! Tomato soup on Monday, Mushroom on Tuesday, Cream of chicken Wednesday,
Continue Reading“You’ve got to have a loo …
“You’ve got to have a look at that ‘Cats in Bread’ website.” Said my girlfriend. I thought the one with two tails and no legs was the funniest.
Continue ReadingI’ve found a way to make …
I’ve found a way to make the day go a little faster in my job as a telephone operative. When I answer the phone I say “Did you do it? Is she dead?!”
Continue ReadingScousers, Get your day of …
Scousers, Get your day off to a cracking start by adding a couple of shots of activia to your vodka
Continue ReadingI’ve just found a dread l …
I’ve just found a dread lock in my Reggae Reggae sauce. It was straight from the Roots.
Continue ReadingI was watching that progr …
I was watching that programme last night ‘Confessions of a Traffic Warden’ When the potential dangers a job include; ‘Adverse Weather’ and ‘Drive-By Shootings’ in the same list, at what point do you think, maybe this job isn’t for me?
Continue ReadingIf you sit on a toilet th …
If you sit on a toilet the other way round it’s like a little chair and table where you can secretly eat and cry.
Continue ReadingHaving a nudist wife has …
Having a nudist wife has its ups and downs. That’s what happens when you don’t wear a bra, though.
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